Brett Favre’s hat held a press conference today, while Favre blabbered on and on about something, to announce it’s official withdrawal from retirement.
“I was sitting in my trash bin in the middle of nowhere Mississippi, when I decided that I am not ready to stop covering Brett’s salt n’ pepper head in filth and stank. I’d like to officially announce my return to the professional world of being a disgusting article of clothing. I may not smell as bad as I look, but I assure you, I will wipe up every ounce of leftover blood from Brett’s head after the brutal beatdown he’ll be getting in Green Bay this year. I want to thank my dirty wife and kids for their support, and most of all, Brett, for his loyalty to me even after the time he dropped me in that Port-A-Potty at the last Brad Paisley concert in Ohio. Thanks for reaching in and saving me Brett. I love you.”
(I just threw up a little bit writing that quote. Goodnight.)
~Cornelius
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